The 7th of August 2014 is a day I will never forget. It wasn’t the interesting course that I attended in the morning for my CE as a Commercial Real Estate Broker. It wasn’t because it was a hectic day of juggling, kids to school, dog being walked, organizing school lunches……. It was the day my body fought back from years of abuse, neglect and compulsive overeating. I didn’t feel well that day, infact I hadn’t felt great all week, not bad just not well. I had this nagging pain in my side that got progressively worse during the day. Towards the end of the day after I had collected the boys from school, prepared dinner – all the supermom, being in perfection things. I told my husband I was going to the emergency room. He asked if he should come home and drive me there. Being the strong woman that I am I said no. I went to the hospital and they diagnozed diverticulitis and they admitted me. This was my first attack.
Friday night the nurse said they would be releasing me the following day. I kept feeling progressively worse and at 2 am I texted my husband to tell him to be there in the morning to advocate for me, something was wrong and he needed to bring my will. Cutting a long story short I had developed an ulcer which perforated and I was full of shit. I didn’t know how profound that statement was until much later. What transpired was nothing short of a miracle, I was the last surgery of the day, there was a full surgical team there that was packing up to go home and they saved my life. They removed 1 1/2 feet of my large intestine, I developed septicemia. From the doctors accounts I should have been in intensive care on a ventilator but 2 days later I was walking the ward. I lived with a colostomy bag for 3 months and am one of the fortunate ones where the reversal worked and I don’t need to live with a colostomy bag permanently. This was my slap in the face my aha moment.
It also set me on a journey of recovery. I realized I am full of shit, I had been eating my feelings for years and this was the physical manifestation. I had to do something, I wanted to watch my children grow up, celebrate their milestones and I wanted to be healthy and intact when I did it. I didn’t want to be the burden on them because I had poor health and complications because of me abusing myself. Years and years of yoyo dieting, using diet pills, supplements, extreme diets, self shaming, feeling guilty and not loving and caring for myself. What was I doing to myself? My family? And why did I continually go down the same path expecting different results, was I insane?
Serendipity or fate however you see it, I call it a blessing I’m grateful for. A month before my insides exploded, I started working with a new client Dr. Felice Cellini her focus is recovery and she was in the market to purchase a facility that focused on obesity and recovery. She became instrumental in changing my perspective, a friend in recovery and we became business partners. I had to make drastic changes my life had become unmanageable and if I carried on the track I was on I would die.
My biggest challenge in struggling with my weight and compulsive overeating is dealing with myself, isolating myself and keeping myself in community, honest and accountable. I’m no different than anyone else I’m just a woman who is fat on the inside. Dr. Felice and I started Why Weight for Recovery, we developed program for recovery including a free no cost community call every Sunday evening 8-9 pm EST for everyone who is struggling with their weight. Today my life is so different, I speak at events, run workshops and connect with others who struggle. This obesity epidemic needs to end. I’m not a victim I’m a living miracle I don’t want my children and their children to live with the pain that I have my whole life – the pain, shame, guilt and bad relationship with my food.
120 lbs later I’m in healthier place, shopping is easier, moving around is not as painful and so much easier. I have more energy and I’ve become a yes person. I’m more open to going out, having my photo taken, being around others, participating, travelling ….. I’m blessed and grateful not only to be in recovery but to live this exceptional life and have been given the chance and opportunity to do extraordinary things. What’s eating you?
Heid E. & Dr. Felice invite you to join the discussion be in community to start living a healthy happy life
#loseweight #whateatingyou #foodaddictionrecovery #healthychoices